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Video: This is why you don’t leave kids alone with your motorcycle

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Or… At the very least, don’t leave you child outside sat on your bike with the engine running, whilst it’s pointed into the direction of an open restaurant door.

This video – first shared on Chinese video site YouKu – provides a reminder of a couple of things.

Firstly, don’t leave your keys in your bike – that’s basically ‘how to not get your stuff stolen’ lesson one. But secondly, if you are going to leave your keys in the ignition and then leave the engine running, don’t also leave bored, young child sat on the bike as well.

There’s probably something in here about not parking your bike pointed directly at an open door, and/or something about not ordering food when there is a scooter headed towards you as well.

Note: We’ve done as much research as we can and it doesn’t appear that anyone suffered anything other than minor injuries and embarrassment in this accident. But we don’t speak Mandarin so if anyone wants to translate for us, we’d be forever grateful.

https://youtu.be/ZWfCR0TwA_s

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VIDEO

Extreme Embalming: How exactly do you prop a dead person up on a motorcycle?

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You didn’t know that you were interested until now.

There’s a fascinating – and macabre – article up on AV Club right now that’s more interesting than perhaps it aught to be.

Interviewed for their ‘AV Club Sit Down’ feature, Mortician Caitlin Doughty talks about the bizarre process of ‘extreme embalming‘ where dead bodies are chemically preserved to the extent that morticians are able to position them into all sorts of tableau’s – including having the deceased forever riding their prized possession; their motorcycle.

We’ll just leave this link here… And this video… And then, errm… It’s probably time to step away from the Internet for a while.

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SPORT

What in the name of all that is Holy, IS THIS NONSENSE?!

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Yamaha make motorcycles, and Yamaha make musical instruments. LET’S DO THIS!

Whilst we’ve got our ‘all motorcycle marketing is shit‘ heads on, let’s double-down and take a look at the latest Yamaha MotoGP video that shows the young, exciting rider with the greatest name of all time, Maverick Vinales ‘getting down’ (as we believe the young people say) with the slightly less young, but certainly young-at-heart Valentino Rossi.

WHO THE HELL THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?

For starters it looks like one of those weird ‘Mystery Guest?’ rounds from the BBC’s A Question of Sport from the mid-1980s AND if Yamaha are so good at making instruments then perhaps they could have composed some music that isn’t the kind of crap that wouldn’t be out of place in a 1992 advert for a local kids laser tag venue!

MotoGP is the greatest motor sport on the planet right now, with racing so exciting that there is no way that anybody who actually took the time to watch it could ever deny this as fact. We just need to get more people in and watching in order to convert them. We don’t think this is going to get any of the kids down to their local CBT/motorcycle training centre, or rushing out to get their BT SPORT subscription renewed anytime soon, do you?

 

Okay. We’re done now and off for a lie-down. Carry on as you were. 

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